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I dated this guy named Aaron about 4 years ago when I was 17 and we didn't go out for long. After we broke up though we decided to be friends but that didn't happen because we had friends pulling us apart and starting rumours to the point where we both hated each other. But on the weekend he was having a new years eve party and I ended up at it. I was so scared cause I though that he was going to kick my ass when he saw me. But he didn’t he hugged me instead he was pretty drunk though. But the next night he had another party and when it ended we actually had a few small conversations and he is so hilarious and I started to remember all the reasons why I was friends with him and why we dated. Now I have all these feelings coming back up and I think I want him again, cause I can’t stop thinking about him. but I know that it probably won’t work out because of some of his friends from the past. What I’m basically wondering is if its normal to have these kind of feelings come up after so long? Or is it weird? and what should I do?

ixi says:

Yes, I do think that's normal, and not weird at all. Sometimes we meet people and hit it off really well, then later can't understand why we ever liked them. Other times we hit it off with people, become temporarily disillusioned with them and once we've gotten a better perspective, we have no problem figuring out why we once cared about them so much. I would try to stay away from over-analyzing and freaking out :) Maybe your friendship will be mended and maybe it will turn romantic again...just be in the present in this one, and don't worry :)

I have a question about condoms. My girlfriend is allergic to regular latex condoms, so we're forced to use the polyurethane condoms. The problem with these it that they don't make the magnum or large sized condoms in any company. I was wondering if you knew of any company that makes this type of condom in large size or if they are simply more stretchable/elastic and can fit larger men more easily?

ixi says:

Wow, that's tough! Unfortunately I couldn't find ANYTHING about large-sized polyurethane condoms. I wonder why they don't have a product for larger men! From what I've read, polyurethane condoms are LESS stretchy than latex. Yikes. If you simply can't wear the polyurethane condoms, then I think you and your girlfriend are going to have to discuss hormone birth control as your primary contraceptive. Do you think she'd be a opposed to that for any reason? There are really great hormone birth control options out there besides the pill, like the NuvaRing for example, a small plastic ring about the size of your penis that fits in the back of her vagina and excretes the same hormones she'd ingest from a pill over time. The dosage is lower than the pill because it's absorbed directly into the skin so any risks she may be concerned about are lessened. Good luck!

I met this kid names mike 2 years ago. he is really kool and we hit it off since day one. we were like pb&j. then acouple of months after... i feel inlove with him and we went out like for almost 2 years. he said he wanted his space alot and i was a very good girl freind but i can be alittle to clingy, i just upsets me how someone can drop someone like really quick. i was his first for everything. and he didn't even call me for my birthday... we haven't spoke for almost 2 months and i am really worried . even after all hes done to me like ignore me and not acknowlege me and i brought him a 1200 guitar (returned that shit) i still forgive him and would give him the world. i tryed to move on and kinda look and talk to other guys but noone can compare to him.. his name is mike and hes really awesome but hes just been really mean. were so close and the last time i spoke to him was the day b4 halloween and we went pumpkinpicking and painted them and had a really sweet time togehter(but we were taking some time off being bf and gf because of space) and then the next day he asid good ngiht love u and never called me agian . i miss him so much and he even mailed my stuff back to me. i cant even being to start to tell u how much i miss him. i cant get over him i never will.. what do i do? do u think he hates me?

ixi says:

Wow, that does sound painful. I guess you guys have broken up (although it probably needs to be official), and he no longer is kind to you, respects you, or pays any attention to you. That's gotta hurt. I know you miss him but time will heal you, especially if you do your best to surround yourself with people you love. You deserve much much better. Who knows why he did what he did...the only way you'll find out is if you ask him, and if you want to know, that's up to you.

Giving blowjobs- it seems like everyone's okay with it and guys generally expect it from a serious relationship, but I've never had any interest in it and am, in fact, more than a little afraid of performing oral sex. I've always seen it as repulsive and degrading towards women and had a lot of tension in past relationships over it. When I express this to others, they mostly say they feel sorry for my boyfriends, and fortunately my current bf is understanding, but is it wrong or weird to not want to give oral sex, even in a comitted, sexually active relationship?

ixi says:

There's nothing wrong with that, although most people do "expect" it. Some people, like you, have no interest in oral sex because they feel it's disgusting and degrading. For someone who's only afraid of it, well, I'd say they just aren't ready for it and will grow out of the "ew" phase. However, it seems you are morally opposed to it. As long as you are with a partner who loves you and respects you, he will respect your decision not to do this. He may not like it and he may never get over it, but no man should ever pressure you or make you feel guilty for this. I don't think it's wrong. As for it being weird, well, maybe it is a little "abnormal" for college aged kids, but that's ok. Normality can be boring :)

How can you prevent acne? I know the whole wash your face with acne wash thing, and don't pick at 'em, but they're still coming! i'm 19, w/ combo skin...but the breakouts are on my cheeks, which is where my skin is least oily! Its just getting embarassing and annoying. Any suggestions? PLEASE?!

ixi says:

Well, sometimes it takes more than a face wash to get rid of acne. Try to get a recommendation from a friend of a dermatologist they like and make an appointment. They will prescribe you either an oral acne treatment (like a pill every day) or a topical one, like a cream you put on your face. I have used Tretinoin, also known as Retin-A, which you put on your face before you go to sleep, and it soaks into your skin. You leave it on all night and wash it off in the morning. Then I would apply a special lotion during the day. Tretinoin and Proactive are the two leading topical treatments. They seem to really work. That's what I'd do!

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